What would I be doing today if I was not a mom?

I am back. After a few month of dealing with my husband’s lay off, starting my part time job, and interviewing on the side, I am back to Postpartum Rambling. I can go on and on, and write a book about how I’m dealing with the disappointment of my husband’s job loss, and our uncertain future, but I don’t want to waste my blogging space. Since today is a holiday of a sort, I have one burning question in my mind.

What would I be doing today if I was NOT a mom?

Unlike many perplexing, unanswerable questions out there in life, I actually know the answer to this question. I don’t even have to think about it. The truth is, I never thought I would be a mother. Do most other women grow up thinking, dreaming that she would be a mom one day? Not I. Not sure why not, but I never thought I would actually be a mother. Even if I did think I was going to be a mom, I had no idea what “being a mom” would entail. Clue-less. Absolutely clue less.

So, if I wasn’t a mom, who would I be today?

Immediately, I thought about work. If I wasn’t a mom, I would be working, putting in 80+ hrs/week, trying to climb the corporate ladder. I would get up in the morning, check the news and quickly check e-mail, then go to work where I would catch up with co-workers, buy cafeteria coffee, before sitting down at my desk. I would work, work, work, then meet a friend for lunch, then go back to work before finally leaving the office after dark. I would put in a quick work out at the gym, pick up some food at Trader Joe’s then go home and eat in front of a TV or a computer. I would watch a show or two, then read e-mails again, and prepare for the next day. Then I would read a book, before falling asleep, too exhausted to dream, uninterrupted till the next morning.

On weekends I would sleep in, hang out at farmer’s markets, then take day trips near by. I would definitely be on my 2^nd or even a 3^rd car, and would weigh 20 lbs less. I would obsess about my skin, hair, and clothes. I would go shopping recreationally, hang out with friends frequently, and call my parents regularly. I would eat spicy food and I would be eating out of glass plates rather than plastics. My car, house, and clothes would be clean.

That would be me.

But, if I wasn’t a mom, I would still be the most important person in my life. It was all about me. While that can almost sound appealing, it’s really kind of frightening. It’s one thing to be a child who is self-obsessed, but it’s a different ball game to be an adult who is self-obsessed. For that, I thank my children for being in my life. Everyday, they give me opportunities to be little less self-focused, and little less self-entitled.

So, my mom friends, who would YOU be if you were not a mom today? Better yet, for my non-mom friends, what kind of a mom would YOU be? I want you to write it down, so we can laugh about it together over a cup of tea one day.

Happy Mother’s Day!